True Bravery?

This last week I went to a Poetry Slam event here in Tulum, Mexico.

In case you don’t know what a poetry slam is, it’s a live competition where poets perform their work in front of an audience. If you haven’t gone to one before, I highly recommend it!

That day, I was in the audience taking in all the energy–feeling the nervousness and excitement from all of the contestants.

One by one, people went up to perform.

I watched as one contestant walked up wearing all black, entering the space with confidence, and his chest puffed out. He had on large dark boots, a bandana, an earring, black eyeliner, and an intense look on his face. 

You could tell that he had lived a hard life and was a tough character. When he performed his poem, his voice was strong and controlled. The audience was so engaged that they were able to both laugh and cry. What energy!

He finished his poem, and we awaited the next contestant.

Then something interesting happened:

A girl–who I’m guessing was younger than 25–went up to the pedestal. Her energy was almost the exact opposite of his. 

She seemed very nervous and extremely shy. She had a blue shirt with Hello Kitty on it, with light blue eyeshadow and even blue lipstick to match it. Little bangs & curly hair.

I’ll be honest—my first impression was judgmental. My initial thought was, “Why is she dressed like a little girl?”

When she got up to do her poem, she was shaking. She had prayer beads wrapped around her hand and fingers and didn’t make eye contact with anybody. She stood there rocking gently back and forth.

And when she spoke, I was even more surprised—her voice was so high-pitched that it sounded childlike too.

It was uncomfortable for me to watch.

But as she continued, something started to shift.

The longer she stood there, the stronger her voice became. She began to stand taller and straighter, and her eyes grew fiercer.

When she finished her poem, the room was completely silent for a moment, then erupted in applause.

After seeing and feeling all of this, I compared the two contestants in my mind.

The man before her appeared to be much more self-confident and brave… but I found myself asking–was he really?

After analyzing more, I realized that at the same time that he was performing his poem, he was also performing a version of himself that I’m not sure was a reflection of how he really felt and who he really was.

Appearing to be cool, appearing to have no fear, appearing to be “tough.”

The way he dressed seemed to be for a purpose and to make a certain impression on the audience.

This girl, on the other hand, went up there completely as herself.

She went up there knowing she might be judged, misunderstood, or dismissed.

She showed up exactly as she was—shaking, unsure, exposed—and did it anyway.

And to me, THAT is true bravery.

⬩

Who are you pretending to be, and who are you really? 

Sending love to all of you, 

Ananda